I don't eat that...

...but I do believe this.

Totally stolen from a friend, but I don't think she'll mind.

I CAN can control my body, rather than being controlled by my body.

I CAN live a healthy lifestyle that includes a balanced diet and regular exercise.

I CAN maintain the changes I've made in the LONG TERM.

I CAN have a healthy body.

I DON'T have to settle for an overweight body.

I CAN do this for as long as I want.

So close...

...yet so far away!

I was on the cusp - the absolute cusp - of being down 50 pounds: 49.  And had a set back of sorts, which put me down.  But not out.

"Don't make any changes you're not willing to live with forever."

That's my motto.  That's my life message.  That's my everything.

Reminders

I am still on track.  Down a total of 42 pounds now.  I have decided an appropriate (and necessary!) reward for hitting the 5-0 mark will be new bras.  As much as I dislike the boogers, it's nice getting new ones in a smaller size.

Every day I have to remind myself why I'm doing this.  My inner dialogue goes something like this:

• You want to feel better.
• You want to be able to do things like "normal" people and not worry about accomodations.
• You deserve this.
• Those who love you deserve this.

It's hard at this point to say which is the more important reason, but as a whole, it's working.  And if it ain't broke, don't question it.  Or something like that.

Ahh, life, ye of little faith...

Remember this post?  Heck, I should say first, remember me, my handful of followers?

Well, this is the year of the big 4-0, and that long suffering goal is NOT obtainable.  However, all is not lost!  As of May, I am down 27 pounds in seven weeks, and the numbers are still falling!  So, new goal: down 100 pounds by that fateful birthday!

I have taken a somewhat controversial approach this time.  It's called "physician managed weight loss."  In other words (mine), I pay someone an obscene amount of money (some might say) in order to make me accountable.  And I'm okay with that, as long as it works.  And it is working, but only because I'm working it.

This post was inspired by a friend, I'll call her J.  J and I have recently bonded over our shared goal to lose weight, become more fit, and just generally get healthier.  She has been blogging more regularly than myself about this, and I enjoy reading her entries.

I started writing a response to her last blog, and it was so long and convoluted, I stopped and decided to write this blog post instead!

So, J, this is for you:

Everything you said is exactly true.  And your opinions about "that place" are valid for those people you see who are doing it wrong!  The thing is, you likely don't see the people who aren't doing it wrong (except me!) because they don't end up on your radar.  But this isn't about them or that place.  This is about you.

We've got to get you off the idea of a "Cheat Day."  Let's start looking at it like "Cheat Meals" or "Cheat Montages."  (Heck yeah, bring on the montage!  Those corny 80's movies can't be wrong!)

We can go to the serve yourself froyo place and get ourselves a cup of goodness, but we have to do it smartly.  Sugar free - and good! - flavors abound, with fruit and some nuts?  Yummy, and relatively good for you!  We can go out to eat and have some decadently rich meal, but, again, show some restraint and half it with someone, or, better yet, just eat half ON PURPOSE!  *GASP*  Responsibility?  What a novel concept!

And this doesn't have to be a scheduled thing.  That makes it feel too much like a "to do" list item.  Make it as sporadic and unpredictable as you are!

You are doing all the right things, so keep it up!  See you soon back on the track, literally!

FIT

A side effect of getting fit is losing weight. But losing weight doesn't necessarily mean you are fit.

Discuss.

Progress

Down four pounds this week. Almost on my goal line at SparkPeople. The goal is more like a guideline. As long as I feel better, and am happier with myself, I don't care what the scale says.  But it's still good to see progress.

At my lightest adult weight, in my mid-20's, a family friend told me I was downright skinny. During that conversation (with Mrs. Louise Mullins, R.I.P.), I expressed that I would kill myself if I ever gained it back.  I guess I was a little bit of a drama queen in my younger years...

Not only did I gain it back, but I gained more.  And I'm still alive.  So either I forgot about this conversation (I didn't) or I'm not one to follow through (guess I'm not).  Either way, can't unspill milk.

Moving forward.